Dear Diary,
I never realize what bad timing I have until things begin to collide around me. I know that I procrastinate, and therefore have the attitude many times that 'if I can just make it through the week...'
Well, for some reason, I scheduled a party amidst a whirlwind of activity that usually accompanies the holidays. I'm excited about everything going on, I just wish it wasn't all happening right now. And to add to that, I keep promising myself that a dating life will come in due time. But who has time?
What it comes down to is that people make time for the things that are important to them. And while finding someone to end my diary is important to me, I have a more discouraged outlook on it tonight as my head bobs from drowsiness and my thoughts attack me for not following my own rules.
Yesterday, I wrote to you about feeling bold and wanting to know. But I didn't really act too intensely on such a notion. I merely made contact. About needing help with a project he happens to have some expertise in. And he responded by saying he wasn't familiar with the program I was using and thus he would be somewhat useless to me. And that was it.
I don't know what I was expecting. Certainly not a great overture of love. But it sort of hit my funny bone, and I'm a bit bitter about having reached out at all. I am not built to pursue, I always tell myself. I insist on being pursued.
I'll do well to follow my rules tomorrow...
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