Sunday, September 27, 2009

September 27, 2009


Dear Diary,
Ordinarily, I am a very normal girl. Sometimes I can be completely cool. On very rare occasions, I am the life of the party. But I have my moments where I become a complete idiot.

I have thought very little of one gentleman in particular as of late. In fact, it has probably been over a month since I even remembered his existence. Typically, I see him every Sunday, or sometimes in the middle of the week. But since school began, I have found myself incredibly busy and worn out, which has pulled me away from the activities in which I would have otherwise seen him. That's actually a good thing because as I have discovered time and again, he does not return my affection. (Though at times, his actions say otherwise). And out of sight in this case has in fact, turned into out of mind.

But today I knew I'd see him. In fact, I drove up and scanned the parking lot looking for his car. This I assumed was a momentary lapse. I didn't see his car and therefore put him out of my mind once again. But he did show, and I still was able to not think much of him.

...Until we spoke for a short time. And he introduced me to his guests, and we talked about Disney World and in one fell swoop, I became an idiot. My voice got goofy, my laugh got ridiculous, and I stumbled over every word. Why does that always seem to happen in his presence? Crushes should come with all the safety gear that rollerblading entails: the helmet, elbow pads, wrist guards, and knee pads. That way on days like today we come out unscathed.

Back when I first met Crush, I fell hard and fast for him. And that was over a year ago. Four months ago, the attraction still lingered. I couldn't shake him. After finally being rid of him for a time, he shows up and has this affect. Crush, I'm trying to just be cool so could you please just go away? :) (Actually, don't leave, I adore being an idiot...)

Tomorrow should be Crush-free...

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