Sunday, November 29, 2009

November 29, 2009

Dear Diary,

So the book continues to make me feel empowered. Today, I tried "changing my traffic pattern" again. I think I am becoming more aware of my "approachability" as time goes on. I'm more and more careful to look up and make eye contact. I try to get a handle on how eager I am to look away to avoid awkward moments.

So, I headed back to the big church today. I even went alone so that I wasn't tagging along with Mom and Dad or anyone else that might make me unapproachable. Unfortunately, nothing happened. I really do grow discouraged about finding someone at church because everyone's always so careful there. On the other hand, I don't want to fall in love anywhere else. So I'm stuck.

Which brings me to another point. The author keeps placing blame for one's "stuckness." He says it is because of internal issues, not situation or circumstance. He pushes you to search within to discover your internal warfare. I have never really considered myself to be tortured in any way on the inside. Do I have issues? I suppose it's possible, but I wouldn't have a clue what to even look for. Do you know what they are?

Maybe I'll discover something tomorrow...

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